Have your children graduated from high school or college? Did the exciting summer you were looking forward to suddenly crash down on you when you realized your children would soon be leaving for school or careers and leaving you to start a new stage of your life? This is what is frequently referred to as empty nest syndrome. While it primarily strikes women, more and more men are finding themselves standing in the backyard with an empty baseball glove feeling lost and lonely too.
While this was more of a crisis years ago when mothers stayed home full time with the children; today it is still a major issue for many families. Many parents have built their lives around their children and their activities only to see this suddenly end and be hit with another of life's transitions. Unfortunately for many women, the children are leaving at the same time they enter menopause leaving mothers a mess of untamed emotions.
If you are struggling with your children leaving home, there are some things you can do to ease the transition. Try some of the following, and remember you are not alone. All of those other parents around you at graduation are struggling with the same emotions:
Talk to other parents around you and see how they are coping with the loss.
Get involved - now is the time to take a class, get involved in activities you were in before you had children, and call old friends.
Plan a trip with your spouse - now is the time to go to those places you put off when you had children.
Take on a part time job, or do volunteer work.
Plan activities with your children (now adults) that you can make into regular events with your family.
Spend more time with your own parents and family and reestablish old family traditions.
Set goals for yourself independent of family that help you to begin to establish your own identity.
This is one of the major transition periods in our lives. While we have had several up to this point, we are now at the point where we are matured and more aware of loss and the effect it has on us. It is important to remember that this will be a gradual and emotional process. However, if you find yourself overly sad and depressed, seek help.
Family Service Inc. (605)336-1974 800-589-1974 fsisd@msn.com